If you missed out on the Jay-Z and Beyonce concert in NOLA last night I feel bad for you, son. It was flawless (it woke up like that), but if your hard knock life didn't allow you to buy tickets I've gathered some highlights.
- We arrive at the Super Dome and find our seats. It smells like fried eggs.
- The concert begins a full hour and a half late. Since a Kardashian Anniversary is 72 days, I am officially declaring that anyone over 72 minutes late to an event shall henceforth be referred to as "Beyonce Late".
- Beyonce had so many lights during Flawless that I am pretty sure she was trying to cause another power outage in the Super Dome.
- Jay-Z and Beyonce hugged at the end of Drunk In Love, it was definitely an "aw" moment.
- The girl in front of us did some serious hairography to Holy Grail (of all songs?).
- Beyonce sang Justin Timberlake's part of Holy Grail and it made me wish she sang it originally (perhaps this explains the hairography).
- Beyonce danced on her penis chair for Partition.
- During Izzo (H.O.V.A.) they showed several celebrity mugshots on the big screen, and the audience let out a collective Nelson-From-The-Simpsons-Style "Ha-Ha" at Justin Bieber's mugshot.
- Everyone cheered for Tupac's mugshot. Not sure why, he hasn't come out with anything good since the 90's.
- Also during Izzo they showed this (at least) 60 year old white guy in a suit in the front row rapping along and he instantly became everyone's hero. I really hope he makes it into the HBO special.
- In general Beyonce reminded us that we are all inferior dancers.
- The final was adorable and showed Bey and Jay's home videos. My favorite was one with Jay-Z doing push-ups with Blue Ivy on his back. He tried to sit on Blue Ivy's back for her to do some push-ups and she adorably failed.
That pretty much covers it. I highly recommend U Upgrade and watch the HBO special when it comes out if you missed the concert.
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